October 24, 2019, 01:43 am

Author Topic: Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!  (Read 1868 times)

Offline Harlan_Jones

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Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!
« on: January 07, 2014, 06:31 pm »
MAYOR ASSASSINATED IN
BRUTAL GANGLAND SLAYING!

The city was shocked today by the horrific slaying of one of it's premier statesmen, Harlan Jones. The mayor was found today brutally eviscerated with a knife jammed in his kidneys. No suspects have been detained in the murder but a rash of gangland executions began with his death, sparking more rumors of the mayor's involvement with organized crime.

Harlan Wilberforce Ivanov Sr. was the oldest of ten children. Born to a family of Russian immigrants in Parma, Ohio, Harlan began his career in politics as a printer's devil for the Young Socialist's League, printing Pravda in his spare time while working on grocery ads in the basement of the local FoodLand. During protests against the US involvement in Contras of Nicaragua, Harlan was arrested and jailed for his involvement in the tossing of molotovs. During his time in jail he began his study of anthropology, eventually becoming a law student and earning his Juris Doctor degree at Moscow State University.

After working as a defense attorney for Greenpeace for many years he retired from his law firm to enter politics, becoming first a municipal judge, then mayor of Downtown. A democrat and devoted socialist, he strived to bring peace, law and above all fairness to the city. He worked tirelessly in the defense of the city and strove to make sure new laws and referrendums where placed on the ballot. It was his controversial repeal of the Assault Rifle Ban that catapulted him into the limelight, and perhaps made him a target.

While overseeing the filing system creation at the city jail, Harlan Jones was kidnapped by persons unknown. For hours the mayor was gone without a trace, until finally calls began to come through from the mayor's cell phone. Cryptically he began to order his search to cease, and once returned to office he was found to be a changed man by the ordeal. Favors and honors were soon paid to the Pepper crime family, notorious in the city but considered untouchable by prosecutors. Laws passed to prohibit their arrest soon drew the ire of the public and it is believed that one of these individuals, perhaps from a rival gang, decided to eliminate the mayor.

The services for the mayor are to be held at the Menachem Begin Memorial Cemetery, and his ashes are to be spread upon the Cuyahoga river, and the river is to be then set on fire. He is survived by his wife Harriett and daughter Harley. In lieu of flowers, please donate to the World Communist Youth League.

Harlan Jones
(b. 1957 - d. 2012)

« Last Edit: January 07, 2014, 06:33 pm by Harlan_Jones »

Offline Leonard Potato

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Re: Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2014, 06:44 pm »
Out Of Character:
I can not believe  that i read the whole thing...


OH NOSE!

Harlan was like a brother to me, we would talk like equals, grab a burger while being shot at, shoot eachother a few times for fun , he was one of those guys you could hug and it wouldn't be awkward afterwards.

May he Rest in peace.

Spoiler
« Last Edit: January 07, 2014, 06:49 pm by Leonard Potato »

Offline Sky (Anti IngSoc)

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Re: Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2014, 11:31 pm »
This would never have happened if the Peacekeepers had remained in power.
"I used it as an administrator for 29 days the last hour of my day I smegtastic have everyone get on there knees and bow down to my feet you smeg" "You dont even know the satisfaction of them getting on their knees to me"
-Sgt. Panda, the Rogue Admin, minutes before he was forum banned.  GG.

Offline BokWaChanRukTer

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Re: Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2014, 04:56 am »
You can easily explain it.I can't do it same you.

Offline FirstLightInMoring

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Re: Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2014, 03:54 am »

Post Your Funny Logs And Enjoy this topic

Offline Jelman

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Re: Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2014, 10:26 am »
You know this thread has been necrobumped when sky has posted in the thread.






His Grace Snoop of House Dogg, first in his name; Kushleesi; The Unblazed; Brother of Green Dragon Sativas; embarks on a quest to reclaim Weedsteros

Offline Deluxe

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Re: Mayor of Downtown Assassinated!
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2014, 01:16 pm »
You know this thread has been necrobumped when sky has posted in the thread.

You think xD
Peace love and positvity.